Chapter 8

Raw Converter: Chii

Editor: Diya

“Alyssa.”

Rashid gave strength to his hand and lightly turned my head back. He wouldn’t have even known that he was using grip.

I have no choice but to make eye contact with him. Rashid put his face close to me.

Even in the darkness, his eyes shone alone. However, the emotions contained in them did not appear to be due to the darkness, or whether that was originally the case. There was only a clear and transparent absence in it, neither joy nor affection.

“Are you afraid?”

His breath tickled me. Following that gentle exhalation, his deep scent flowed inside me. It smelled like a deep flower and a pure musk. In the wind, I felt like I had fallen into the traces of Rashid, which was hard to define.

Are you afraid? What?

“…no, I’m not afraid.”

I answered as if I were possessed. I meant it.

But I had no intention of spending the night with Rashid. Becoming Alyssa, I wasn’t going to go with the flow. I can’t do that.

First of all, I have to escape this situation somehow. I have to think about the rest next.

“But…oh, I-I’m not ready for it yet.”

I stuttered in a mess. I’m not even sure what I’m talking about.

“Prepare your heart.”

Rashid smirked.

Anyway, Alyssa and Rashid are married, and they’ve been together for more than 12 months, but they’re still not ready. How ridiculous it must have sounded. You must be wondering what’s wrong with her now.

“I-I’m not feeling well yet.”

“I heard you’re in good shape.”

“I’m still a little tired.”

“Hmm.”

He smiled quietly. It was a relaxed attitude, as if to listen where I was going with this.

“Also, I think I have a fe-fever…”

“Fever.”

While I was rolling my eyes because I was so stumped that I couldn’t give a better excuse, Rashid gently touched my forehead. His hand was large, covering my forehead as well as my eyebrows, and my vision was colored by the cozy darkness.

The excuse can’t work. Because his palms seemed hotter than my forehead.

“That…”

“Okay.”

I was going to say anything that came to mind, but Rashid unexpectedly let me go. I don’t know what he was thinking, but for me it was a relief. Sweeping down his chest, he continued.

“Well, let’s wait.”

“What?”

“Until you’re ready.”

“Uh…”

He said, rolling his eyes at the unexpected sound.

“Tomorrow?”

I shook my head in a hurry.

“Then the day after tomorrow.”

Continuing to shake my head, I dropped my eyes. Two round hands lay side by side on a white chemise.

“Will it be next month?”

“Well, I mean…”

“Huh, then when is it good?”

I groaned like a goldfish out of the water. When should I say? Can I do it next month? Or the month after? Next year? When the hell?

There was no day on schedule to share my body heat with Rashid in the future, so I had nothing to say for an answer.

“We-well…”

“Tell me straight.”

“Let me tell you! When I’m ready…”

“Hmm.”

“So on a good day…yeah.”

If there is a mouse hole, I want to go in. When I wrapped my hands around my face, my palms were warm.

“Sure.”

Rashid got up out of bed. I felt the elastic mattress bounce back flat.

“Then take your rest, Madam.”

Then he blew out the candles on the table. White smoke scattered through the darkness.

Rashid’s footsteps recede. The door opens and closes again. I recognized the fact that he had left with a sound coming from beyond the dim vision.

I fell flat on the bed.

‘Oh, I can’t. I have to get out of here as soon as possible.’

I was trying to get things going slowly, but it was an unfamiliar sound. My heart pounded as if the fire of the extinguished candle had moved over the top of my foot.

So, I have to get a divorce. I have to ask for a divorce tomorrow. I have to file the divorce papers. Days and days later, good days won’t come. It has to be now.

‘If another day like today comes, then…’

Delusions are about to rise. I hurriedly put the blanket over my head. And in that state, I could barely fall asleep after tossing and turning dozens of times.

* * *

The morning was bright, but Louise didn’t wake Alyssa. If there is no specific schedule, it is a rule to do so, and today was the day after the union day.

Alyssa, who had a weak constitution, always lay down for a long time after spending the night. It wasn’t until the sun came up that she pulled the rope to call Louise. Then Louise let the tub be filled with warm water and removed the bed while Alyssa was washing up.

Usually, Louise doesn’t go to bed herself, except the day after the merger. It was because Alyssa was shy and asked her separately.

Ring! The bell rang cheerfully. It was a call from the Duchess’ bedroom. I guess she woke up early today.

On her way to the room, Alyssa sat on the bed and greeted Louise. The pink hair that was pressed while sleeping was disheveled. You looked a little tired, but that’s all. Louise felt at odds with her usual appearance.

“Please prepare a meal.”

“Yes, Mistress. The bath is…”

Louise looked at her blankly for a moment.

“Oh, yeah. I can eat after I wash up.”

Alyssa got out of bed and went to wash up. Left behind, Louise tidied up the bedroom.

The Duchess’ bed was neat. The blanket was disorganized and the pillow crumpled because she was sleeping, but that’s all. There were no signs of the union day.

‘What?’

Louise tilted her head.

The relationship between the owners was the most interesting story among the workers of the aristocratic mansion. It is no exaggeration to say that the atmosphere of the mansion is usually determined by the good and bad relationship. Of course, to some extent, it was also a matter of interest.

Louise paid attention to the relationship between the Duchess and the Duke of Fenvernon for various reasons. One was because the emperor paid attention to the Duke’s successor, because it was an important matter.

The production of successors was an obligation within and outside the high-ranking nobles, who were married in an organized way. The Duke and his wife generally kept their union day well, and Louise would make the same report every time to the emperor once a month. (e/d: ‘married in an organized way’ – think of political and arranged marriages).

But today was different.

‘You violated the rule of the couple’s union day.’

Why? For what reason?

It was a sudden change for unknown reasons. Louise clasped the quilt.

It’s weird. Something’s changed. Something is changing.

* * *

I don’t know how I washed up and ate. It was already afternoon when I came to my senses. Everything I do reminds me of last night, and my face turns red from time to time. Then it calmed down to some extent.

The way to solve this situation is obvious. The answer is one— divorce. It also has to be a very quick and tidy divorce.

I thought about running away at night for a while. I thought that would be the easiest.

But I didn’t think it would work. The rest of my life should be at peace, so I had to consider it. Whether the emperor came to catch me or Rashid, I was not confident of escaping safely.

I’ll have to figure out what to say to him about divorce and how to get a divorce. It’s not going to be easy as it sounds. I may have to try several methods to get it.

“Mistress, dinner is ready.”

Louise announced dinner time. Today, Rashid said that he would have dinner with me, leisurely.

I grabbed her outstretched arm and got up from the bed.

It was then.

「Louise had just contacted the Imperial Palace.」

I blinked my eyes over and over again.

「It was about the trouble in Rashid’s relationship with Alyssa.」

I was embarrassed and startled. On what basis did you make such contact?

It was difficult to manage my facial expressions as I pretended not to know. I tried to straighten out my frown.

“Are you sick?”

“Oh, no. It’s okay.”

I walked to the dining room and fell deep into thought. Anything about the duke was information to Louise. His relationship between the duchess is by far the most important. Depending on the circumstances, I also assumed that she would interfere with my divorce.

‘I have to do something about this.’

But Louise did not want to leave my side even for a moment. Even if I wanted to be alone, she did not go far and stayed by the door.

It wasn’t Louise who went in and out of the kitchen to get food or tea, but another maid who went down there. The only time Louise left my side was practically when I was sleeping.

First of all, I’ll get her out of the duchy somehow. I’ll have to avoid Louise’s eyes, so I’ll either search her room or come up with another scheme.

To do that, I have no choice but to deceive her.

* * *

The next day, I wrote a letter.

“Louise, deliver this letter to Lady Rimnicke and come back with a reply.”

Rimnicke was one of the five duchesses, who was acquainted with Alyssa.

The letter sealed in wax looked quite ordinary. It was pressed with a flat rod rather than a family wax seal, making it difficult to guess who sent it from the wax alone. It was as if the letter was deliberately sent secretly.

“I’ll have someone do it.”

“No! You have to do it.”

Louise looked surprised at the tough tone. I immediately ordered.

“It’s a letter I can only ask someone I trust. I can’t leave it up to anyone.”

Then, with her eyes shining, Louise replied that she knew what to do.

How suspicious would it look if a letter was sent secretly with a seal hidden? All the more so if it was sent to another duchess. It was clear to Louise that she had to open the letter on the way.

The contents was a plain greeting with a suspicious sentence that looked like a code in the middle. ‘How are you? The weather is nice these days, I think moles will wander around at night.’ It was like that.

“You have to get an answer. Definitely.”

Perhaps Miss Rimnicke will ponder for a long time, wondering what the hell this means.

Then Louise would waste her time.

“I’ll be back, Mistress. In the meantime, stay in your bedroom. I’m afraid you’ll feel more pain walking around.”

“Okay, don’t worry. I’ll do what you say.”

Louise left the mansion with the letter. It’ll take at least a couple of hours for her to get back.

It was the maid downstairs who took care of me while she was away. I also let the maid run her errands all around the mansion, calling the butler and the head maid separately.

At the call of the Duchess, the Duke’s butler, Sylvester Eddie and Head Maid Harriet Ronan came at her call.

The two were long-time workers at the Duchy of Fenvernon. They were loyal to Rashid, who’s the Duke, so I thought they were trustworthy. Regardless of how the Duke treated Alyssa, the two treated Alyssa as a duchess.

(t/n: finally someone has sense and doesn’t treat their superiors with hate or smth)

(e/d: ikrr)

‘At least I won’t do anything stupid.’

Because it’s for Rashid as well.

Previous Chapter | TOC | Next Chapter